Hello Hello and happy damn new year!
It has been way too long not being here and I’m so sorry to the loyal six of you who continue to read this mess of a blog.
I’m sorry I’m late to my own party, but I wanted to spend the first month-ish of 2019 focusing on me, my goals, my vibe, my health, and overall happiness – all of which is v important to my growth and being my authentic self.
I don’t really believe in “new years resolutions” or the “new year, new me” thing. If you do, that’s swell and definitely own that, but anytime I try to uphold a resolution, it instantly goes right out the window. Remember last year’s “I’m getting my abs back”? LOL jokesssss – sorry but the city is mainly Italian (from where I’ve ventured at least) which means pizza and pasta. So, do you really blame me?
Now for some cool life updates:
- I’ve read three books so far in 2019 which is wonderful (shout out to Michelle Obama’s Becoming, Cara Alwill Leyba’s Like She Owns the Place, and Jenny Han’s The Summer I Turned Pretty – which I’ve been reading since 2017 so not sure if that’s sad or exciting)
- Ariana Grande dropped the Thank U, Next album which is absolute f i r e
- I’ve lost 4lbs this week (*golf clap*)
- I’ve rearranged my apartment to the perfect setup (maybe we’ll see what I do next week)
- I’ve had some of the hardest conversations to date in 2019
- My skin is looking less dry, unlike my personality (*another golf clap*)
- I got a new job
but more importantly,
- I’ve gotten really real about where I am mentally, emotionally, financially, physically, and spiritually
And it’s only February 10th guys!!!!! Woooooooooooooo!
But all those tales of the what, why, and how will maybe be for a later post, but that’s not what sparked being here today:
This morning I woke up the usual way: my 16 year old asshole of a cat walking on my face crying over and over because the sky is blue, I am clearly very happy to be asleep (so I must be stopped!), or whatever dumb reason it may be today. So in my clearly frowned upon version of a routine, I reached over to the table next to my bed, yanked my phone off the charger, and proceeded to open instagram per usual – mind you, today is Sunday February 10, 2019 so a normal fucking Sunday of nothing really special.
Cara Alwill Leyba (as previously mentioned in the book section – please read her book(s), they’re all incredible) posted a story about her progress in life and how it’s really important to celebrate the small things because they’re essentially the foundation for the big things to happen. And as I read it, I started to cry like the emotional mid-twenties person I am. But it truly really hit me. I realized I had done in my short life what a lot of people wish they could do – either in the form of courage, financially, through having a strong support system that I am beyond blessed having. I moved somewhere people work their entire lives to live, work, and thrive.
I moved far away from home, got rid of my car, support myself fully motivationally (if that’s a word) and financially, work for a great company (along with the previous one as well, ’cause like I said, new job), and I have all these opportunities that people wish for, work for, hope for day in and day out. The type of people that not too long ago, I had also been.
It’s crazy to think that a year ago I wished, worked, and hoped for all that I have now.
Few people really know, but the reason I wanted to move to New York City so badly is because this is the place where I had always visited which had some magnetic pull on me. I was always at my happiest when I came here either with friends, family, or class trips over the years – and although I hesitated applying for the only New York job I went for and got, everything seriously does happen for a reason.
The city has something no where else I’ve been has: an overwhelming sense of anything can turn into a beautiful adventure. As if it knows it’s loud, smelly, and full of trash, but NYC does a lot of things other cities don’t.
There’s this crazy palpable energy about it that makes you believe anything is possible. No matter the time of day, it’s constantly showing up, is never ever boring, and holds no one to be who they were yesterday. It thrives on the hustle of the speed-walking passionate people who reside and come here, it is diverse as fuck, and keeps its eyes on the prize and on no one else’s lane.
The way I can sum up New York City is I can walk by human shit in the subway station and be absolutely mortified and disgusted one minute, but as soon as I come above ground and see how the light of day break bounces off of those gorgeous skyscrapers, you honestly can’t help by smile and feel so so blessed like, fuck, I fucking live here!
This month is the six month I have lived, loved, laughed, cried, grew, and thrived in New York City.
Six months of going through a crazy transition period of “what the fuck is happening” and “how the fuck do I get there” to “yes, I’ll drink 7 bellinis at brunch from 12-4pm downtown” or “yeah, let’s grab drinks in this neighborhood where I’ll probably get lost and end up on the wrong side of the street wicked confused, but let’s go!” (yes, still use the word wicked because my New England pride WON’T EVER GO AWAY. I’ve finally started to describe my apartment as “home” and just so many other wild crazy things that happen in this big beautiful land of dreams.
My followers on instagram are probably hella tired like “yes, we know you live in the city, stop posting it” but how can you not? How can you not be proud of the progress you’ve made. I have terribly social anxiety that fluctuates depending on the people, setting, and topic and it’s awkward but I’ve started to own it more. And I honestly, could not have done that without this city pushing me to get out of my comfort zone.
So let’s raise a champagne glass to remembering the small things because they help build the strong foundation to the big things coming.
Here’s to the fuck ups, the glow ups, and the progress we make everyday.
In high school, my friends and I used to say “you make good stories or good decisions”. I have almost always regretted the things I didn’t do or didn’t say over the things I have.
So if you’re reading and you need to here it:
Take the adventure
Apply for that job
Take that risk
Send that text
Move to that place
Do that which is outside of your comfort zone
Be authentic and true to yourself and you will never ever regret it.
Here’s to living out loud in 2019 and smashing every goal we have ahead of us.
Remember, the table of success is round and there is plenty of room for all of us to take a seat at it.
queue 7 Rings by Ariana Grande